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Although officially social networking websites like Facebook, Friendster and Myspace are not online dating websites, many users consider it to be one in disguise. Indeed, people looking for romance click on each profile to see if the person is attractive, or if they have similar backgrounds (same school) or have same hobbies.

However, there are many problems when using social networking websites as an alternative to a pure dating website. I will now address them below:

1. Low statistics in terms of percentage

The bulk of the people on social networking sites are already seeing someone or married. Here are real statistics I extracted from Facebook’s Singapore network (where I am based). You can extract suitable statistics from your own network if you want.

Out of 477,340 users (as of 25 Aug 08), only 123,080 are listed as singles. That is, only around 25% are single. So not a good percentage, but not bad as an absolute figure. But wait, there’s some catch to this. Read on.

2. Targeting the wrong audience

It feels strange you will message someone out of the blue on social networking websites, as compared to a pure dating website. Perhaps the person is just inside Facebook to connect with his or her old classmates or friends, and not for romantic purpose. With an online dating service you would not have such ambiguity, as everyone have signed up to look for dates.

There are some people who even set their status as “It’s complicated”, so would you want to date someone who has an unfinished business (or relaionship) with someone else? Certainly not, you will only want to date with someone who is absolutely available and also looking for date. Otherwise, you will be barking up the wrong tree.

3. Being a virtual friend serves someone else’s purpose.

Essentially, social networking websites like Facebook or Friendster are designed so that you can keep in touch with your group of friends. However, people are sending Add Friend requests to strangers whom they do not even know. And interestingly, there are people who accept Add Friend’s requests without knowing who is at the other end too. I have read that such people are just keeping a long list of virtual friends to compete against their (real-life) friends. Yes, it sounds childish, but that is what is happening. So being in someone else’s virtual friend list just does not serve a dater’s ultimate purpose.

4. The search system on social networking websites are poorly designed for dating purpose.

Most social networking websites like Facebook or Friendster can allow you to search one gender of a certain age range, and of certain Relationship Status, and of a certain location too. But that is all about it. You cannot filter off important details of a person, such as religion, zodiac sign, whether he or she has any children, or wants children, ethnicity, height, weight, eating/drinking habits, smoking habit, etc.

Like with anything else, there are pros and cons to using either a social networking website or a dating website to find their soulmates. Those who are serious about finding a date may discover that their chance might just be better with a dating website as we have discussed above.

Labels: dating, facebook, friendster, matchmaking, myspace, singapore, social networking

People nowadays make new friends through social networking websites such as Facebook and MySpace, and also through online dating sites, chatrooms, etc. While it is such a great way to meet that special someone, however it is imperative to approach online dating the same way you would do in traditional dating. This means apply common sense (ok, common sense may not be so common these days) to every situation and that taking care of your own safety is your first priority.

Let's face it, it can be hard for a webmaster to screen through every single profile, due to anonymity nature of the Net where anyone can be someone at some corner of planet earth. Unless there are some localised check facilities in place, validating your IDs for an example, it can be pretty difficult to check on one's identity or even more detailed info such as marital status.

Hence, protecting yourself is an essential step to successful online dating. Below I am going to share 10 tips for all online daters:

1. Avoid free-to-contact dating websites. Many people want to join an online dating website, but will not pay for the privilege of contacting other members. A decent online dating website should be free to join, but also ensures free members cannot contact other members. The safety in becoming a paying member of an online dating website is they have your REAL information. Should it ever be necessary, they can track down anyone who has paid for the membership and this in turn ensures your safety.

2. Avoid giving hints to your actual email address. As mentioned above, to avoid paying, some members will post in their profile descriptions hints to their actual email addresses. This means they have inadvertently given away their email address to someone they don't want to (specifically the spammers). Yes, there are many email spammers who register for accounts in dating websites in hope to harvest members email addresses through such blunders. Hence it is always better to join paying-sites such as Match.com or Eharmony.com. Remember, if a person is serious about dating, he/she will not mind paying to get genuine dates.

3. Always use an alias, as opposed to your real name when writing your profile, or when visiting a chatroom. Never reveal your real full name or home address to a stranger.

4. Request for a Photo. As you start communicating with members, ask them to post up their photos (if they have not already done so). You may feel more secure to interact with people when you know what they look like.

5. When online or responding to emails, do not reveal anything more than what is necessary, e.g. your credit card numbers, passwords or PIN numbers, etc.

6. Don't let anyone rush you into a face-to-face meeting if you don't feel ready for it. Take your time online and get to know the person.

7. For first dates, it is advisable to meet at a public place. Avoid any secluded areas such as parks. For ladies, don't let the guy pick you up from your home, office or workplace, this is purely for safety reason.

8. For ladies again, bring some friends along, let them get a look at your date, and then have your friends call you back at a pre-determined time. That will give you a chance to bail yourself out in case you need to.

9. It seems that with online dating, women are the only ones getting preyed upon. But the truth of the matter is men often become victims of financial loss or scams. Especially if a guy gets mesmerized by a sexy webcam gal, then without second thoughts, gave away his precious credit card information, etc. So an advice for guys, don't let your hormones rule over your mind.

10. Lastly, report inappropriate behaviours to the website admin. If you notice other members engage in inappropriate behaviours, be sure to report them. A decent website admin will investigate all reports and may ban these members from the website.

Many singles have met and formed great friendships, relationships and love relationships through online dating services and you can too. You just need to be vigilant as you always will do in real-life. As always, use your common sense or better still, trust your instincts or gut feelings.

Labels: dating places, dating tips, divorcee, friendship, love, matchmaking, relationship, Singapore dating, singapore matchmaker, singapore matchmaking, single dad, single mother, soulmate